If you’re wondering how to keep the spark alive, here are some tips that might help.

  • 1. Be realistic – If you’re in the first few months of parenthood, understand the massive physical change your partner has gone through to bring your baby into the world. Pregnancy and post-partum take a toll. It takes time to heal and get back to feeling normal.
  • 2. Eye contact matters – Don’t underestimate the power of looking your lover in the eye. It makes you feel more connected, which is sometimes difficult when you have responsibilities pulling you apart.
  • 3. Say I love you often – This seems so obvious, but taking just a moment to remember the love you share is vital to a healthy relationship.
  • 4. Make chores a team sport – There is nothing that builds resentment and exhaustion like taking on more than your share of household duties. Whatever works in your household, make sure it’s working for everyone.
  • 5. Find time for each other – I know, it’s hard. But ask someone you trust to watch the kid(s) and take some time to focus on each other.
  • 6. Date nights in – If you can’t find a sitter, plan a date night at home! Try to plan something that allows you to connect rather than stare at a screen. Enjoy an activity that you did frequently pre-kids.
  • And, they get better…

  • 7. Games mean fun – It doesn’t have to be a board game if that’s not your thing, but games can bring an element of friendly competition that can revive a stale relationship. Download an app that allows you to play together or take turns.
  • 8. Cook together – There is something erotic about creating a meal together. Bonus points if you take turns feeding each other!
  • 9. Texting is private – If you’re having trouble finding time for each other, texting can be a lifeline. And it’s fun and private to have a provocative conversation where little ears can’t over hear you.
  • 10. Send selfies – If they married you, chances are that your partner loves you in every state of being and doesn’t even notice your messy hair and eye bags. Send funny faces or sweet moments to brighten your partner’s day.
  • 11. Surprises fuel passion – Old favorites like flowers and chocolate are always nice, but opt for something thoughtful for more impact. Need help? Think of things your partner has had to give up since becoming a parent.
  • 12. A little romance goes a long way – Something as simple as lighting a candle or setting up a bubble bath for your partner can change the whole dynamic of an evening. A no-strings-attached backrub might be the exact thing your partner needs to relax into a more receptive mood.

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