Having a baby changes everything about your life. There’s no other way to say that. It just does.
You and your partner may have been looking forward to having children since before you were even together. Then you find out the news that you’re pregnant and the excitement and fun begins… telling your families, picking out names and nursery decor, and buying all the things you need (and probably a few you don’t.)
And then the moment the baby is born which is like nothing else, it even surpasses the rush of emotions that you felt when you said, “I do.”
And then, time passes in a rush and you’re standing at the door of the hospital. Your brand new bundle of joy is strapped into a car seat and suddenly everything is overwhelming.
“Are we sure that we’re ready for this?”
“We have to keep this child alive. Are we qualified for this?”
“Wait… put him back!”
Suddenly your entire life is about keeping that little bundle of joy… joyful.
Somewhere along the line, your marriage takes a back seat to the new life you’ve created. And that’s normal.
But for many couples, this is the identifying moment in their marriage where the problems started.
As a couples counselor, I hear it frequently…
“After we had kids, he/she just changed.”
“It was like I wasn’t important anymore.”
“She was always with the baby and didn’t have anything left for me.”
“He was always at work and didn’t understand how exhausted I was.”
“We were just so tired.”
When you’re not careful with your relationship, it can deteriorate to the point where you are just parents and no longer lovers or even friends. Your partner becomes another item on a very long list of responsibilities you have to deal with.
But you didn’t get married to divide chores, you got married to share your lives.
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